Bay's Berries

My mother murdered a squirrel although she claims it was an accident. She rigged a trap with walnuts, arranged it near the rosemary and then forgot about it. I asked her how long it takes for a squirrel to starve to death. A day? A week? “The important thing is that I remembered to check the trap the second time around,” she says. And yes, Squirrel #2’s life has a happier conclusion. It was driven (squealing) to a park in Berkeley and released in front of a large tree. “People seem to prefer Berkeley to Oakland anyway,” says my mother.

Mom’s Final Solution has my sister The Vegetarian drawing dark holocaust parallels. This mortally wounds my mother. “It’s not like I don’t like to see squirrels scampering, but they’re eating our fruit,” she says. Of course, now she’s worried that the squirrel’s memory is better than her own and that it will somehow find its way back to her garden. Next time she says she’s going to drive all the way out to Albany— a place that does not have a better reputation than Oakland.

And so it begins, mutters my sister.

BAY’S SUMMER BERRY CONTEST

The Rules: Bay's is looking for the best seasonal recipe that uses fresh, ripe strawberries and Bays English Muffins. Recipes must use one or more Bays English Muffin(s); 5) serve 4-6 people; and 6) call for no more than 8 ingredients (not including Bays English Muffins, water, salt and pepper).

The Prize: One First Place Winner will receive a $500 gift certificate for Williams-Sonoma.

The Entry: Strawberry Cheesecake

4 Honey Wheat English Muffins, split and toasted
6 ounces cream cheese
½ cup strawberry jam
12 large, sliced strawberries
1 cup whipped topping
¼ cup graham cracker crumbs

Spread a thick, smooth layer of cream cheese on the toasted English muffin halves. Spread a thin layer of strawberry jam evenly over the cream cheese. Arrange all but 8 strawberry slices in a circular pattern across muffins. Scoop 2 tablespoons whipped topping onto the center of each muffin half. Sprinkle graham cracker crumbs over whipped topping and garnish with a piece of sliced strawberry. Serves 4.