On my way back to the office after lunch, a man hocked a loogie that landed just shy of my shoe. All winter I’ve been noticing loogie splotches on the sidewalk and they always make me think of Russ. Despite Russ’s penchant for dating men, he once tried to marry a woman from China. His fantasy about her was like a child’s fantasy about a puppy. He imagined unconditional you-provided-me-with-citizenship love. He imagined looking Crouching Tigeresque together in photographs. Most especially he imagined the $20,000 the bride’s uncle would pay him for the girl's green card. So Russ flew to China.On the betrothed couple’s first date, the bride-to-be blew a snot rocket into the street. In China snot rockets are as common as loogies are in the States and Russ’s bride could place one finger over her nostril and blow free with the other nostril without stopping the flow of conversation. For Russ, this was a deal breaker. Or perhaps just enough of a deal breaker to prompt him to flirt with his exceptionally well-built government interrogator back at City Hall. That the man didn’t ask for his phone number is still more hurtful to Russ then the fact that his marriage never got off the ground.
So try this delicious recipe. It tastes nothing like a snot rocket.
SUNSET MAGAZINE "BEST OF THE WEST" RECIPE CONTEST
The Rules: Enter in one of the following categories: Best Wrap, Best Salad, Grilled Entrée, Best Dessert, Party Appetizer, and Safeway Organics Recipe.
The Prize: one winner will be chosen in each of category. Each winner will receive a one-week trip for two (5-7 days, depending on category prize) to Aspen, CO (dessert prize). Trip consists of: round-trip coach airfare to/from a major commercial airport nearest to the winners’ primary residence (in the sole discretion of the Sponsors) and double occupancy accommodations for the duration of the trip.
The Entry: Individual Green Tea Cheesecakes
· 3 tablespoons water
· 1 envelope unflavored gelatin
· 8 ounces cream cheese, room temperature
· 1/3 cup sugar
· 1 tablespoon fresh lime juice
· green food coloring
· 1 cup melted green tea ice cream
· 4 whole graham crackers
· whipped topping or whipped cream
Pour 3 tablespoons water into small saucepan; sprinkle gelatin over. Let stand 10 minutes. Stir over very low heat just until gelatin dissolves. Set aside. Blend cream cheese, sugar, lime juice, drop of green food coloring and melted green tea ice cream in food processor until smooth. With machine running, add warm gelatin mixture through feed tube and blend well.
Divide mixture between 4 8-ounce ramekins. Cover with saran wrap and chill. Seal graham crackers in a zip lock bag and crush with a rolling pin. Scoop whipped cream or whipped topping on top of each cheesecake and sprinkle with crushed graham crackers. Serves 4.
2 comments:
absolutely disgusting. what am i supposed to think now? mmmm--mm. can't wait to get me some of chicken's individual snot-rocket cheesecakes!
and it will be awhile before i try any more flan, either.
Oh, saucypants... As one who as actually eaten one of these cheesecakes, I can honestly attest that they taste sensational. And while I agree that comparing food to bodily expulsions is disgusting, can you honestly say that the reality behind most food is pleasant? Is the genesis of a burger a tantalizing thing to think about? Not to me. But I love them just the same. And what of Gummy Worms? Sometimes, saucypants, the grossness of a food is exactly what's so great about it! The very fact that the Chicken can turn a snot-rocket story into something this tasty must be seen as nothing short of testament to her culinary (and literary) genius.
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